Homesteading Your Mind in a Narcissistic World

Homesteading reconnects us to the kind of hands-on teaching we’ve lost — your lessons come straight from Mother Earth. Homesteading will teach you actionable skills and create concrete foundations.  Here at Mesa View Homestead, we simply call it Homesteading Your Mind. If you surround yourself with real tasks, meaningful projects, and honest skills, you’ll begin to see real results. My personal tagline at Shuffling Homesteader is “Root. Move. Grow.” We get rooted in real things.

Let’s look at what homesteading teaches us about narcissism. As Darrin, my husband, and I began to Homestead Our Mind, narcissism in our surroundings became more apparent in ways we had never noticed.

Here’s the first lesson homesteading taught us.

Lesson #1: Discerning Between the Authentic and the Fake

Our world is run mainly by narcissists. I do not need to prove this. Simply look around and you can see the suffering that exists in our world. People in power throw crumbs and expect us to be satisfied with these crumbs, and sadly, we’ve become quite accustomed to this treatment. Many people stay in power, and gain power, by harming others. Many of us stay in servitude to the powerful for our entire lives and never get to experience freedom and self-worth.

We are gaslit by powerful people and groups and tend to just have to “take” what we get. We are so busy trying to survive that we have no time to figure out how we are getting “played.”

Let’s consider the grocery store as one corporate entity that impacts all of us, using a narcissistic mindset.  A system with a narcissistic mindset needs something from you and will manipulate you in order to get what the system needs. In this case? It’s money and the ability to control your health.

The grocery store should be a place where our community can gather and feel safe. A grocery store should provide a service, but also a sense of belonging to a space that welcomes and nurtures our well-being. When we feel safe, we do not have to question or research the environment (aka the store) because we assume that “trust” is part of the deal.

Unfortunately, our grocery store is on the list of many systems which can ultimately harm us and requires us to perform mental gymnastics simply to purchase an item, such as a can of soup.

We usually cannot trust ingredients on a food label – not only can we not trust what the label says, we typically have no idea what the ingredients are! It’s guaranteed that everyone reading this knows someone who has gotten sick from purchases made at the grocery store because an unidentified ingredient created a health problem.

Due to our inability to read labels filled with gibberish, it is often difficult to determine which grocery item made us sick.  If we get sick consistently due to items from a store, perhaps due to an allergy we can’t pinpoint, we often find ourselves turning to another system, such as the healthcare system. We go to a doctor to determine what the allergy might be.  Yet, this system can also gaslight you, and as in our case, they may hand you a prescription rather than address the source of the problem, which is typically food. This can become a ruthless cycle, whether you go to health insurance, another doctor or your state’s division of healthcare and so on. You are fighting systems that are all intertwined with a goal which often includes profiting off the consumer.

I use a lot of “anchor images” to support me in staying grounded – to avoid being misled. Two of these anchors I have written about are The Rooster and The Damn Can of Soup.  The rooster is simply a person in power who harms others to stay in power and gain power (aka a narcissist). The can of soup is simply a visual for remembering that all the marketing in the world cannot convince me that these processed products are good for my family’s health. For additional resources feel free to check either article out!

So, when you get deceived by the grocery store and cannot find a solution to a food problem that has no solution via the store – as it currently stands – you begin to create your own food.

When you delve into creating your own food, no matter where you live, you’ll see quickly that homesteading points out falsehoods. When you start seeing this honesty, your mind begins to shift and expose the gaslighting.  A homemade loaf of bread can be quite enlightening.

Lesson #2: Growing Food

If you get handed a bean seed and you plant it in a cup of dirt, keep it warm, and water it, you’ll see something miraculous happen. It will get rooted, move and grow.

You can homestead anywhere. Seeds can be planted in your apartment in the city. It is important to remember that homesteading does not require immense amounts of land – especially when you begin to involve community and divvy up the projects!

As you grow and create your own food – you will start seeing authenticity everywhere.

Authenticity has a funny way of outing things that aren’t real – that aren’t true.  Fraudulent behavior gets exposed.

A fabulous way to gather evidence to demonstrate the corruption found in our grocery store is to simply take pictures.

My son recently sent us a picture of our family-raised ground beef compared to the store-bought ground beef. Store-bought ground beef is often packaged in ways that maintain a bright red appearance far longer than naturally expected.

We could create a scrapbook of evidence quickly if we start placing food items side by side. Narcissistic behavior always follows patterns whether this behavior exists in an individual or an institution.

Lesson #3: Caring for Animals

Animals will be honest with you and unveil absolute authenticity. It’s so pure that sometimes this beauty can make you cry. Homesteading often requires caring for animals.  An animal will not hide its true nature from you. If you are unable to have a pet, simply visit an animal shelter or a farm. Animals crave belonging just like we do.

Animals show their true colors. We have kind roosters and we have mean roosters. We also have found ourselves nurturing goats, alpacas, and rescue dogs, all of which stand in front of you with their desire to be safe and loved. They will tell you who they are, what they need and how they might thrive with your help. There aren’t any games or manipulations here.

Seeing such humanity shines a spotlight on the cruelty in our world. Animals’ honesty allows us to recognize dishonesty with ease. Comparison is a powerful teacher.

Lesson #4: A New Lens for Seeing the World

When you start homesteading, it may seem that you’re still being manipulated. And you are. Homesteading will point out other things that gaslight you. When something seems “off” I simply ask myself, what is it that they want? A narcissist needs “supply” to thrive. Supply can come in the form of money as well as selling you a product that continually needs repairs or adjustments.  A narcissist creates a system that leaves you continually needing more – you are never self-sufficient under the guise of a narcissist. The further you dig into creating your own world, rather than purchasing it, the clearer it becomes to recognize when you are being deceived.  

Humans tinker with nature in ways that are often difficult to uncover – overbreeding animals, creating hybrid seeds, using chemicals to create an environment that is compromised and ultimately manipulated in ways that harm you.

Let’s look at the heirloom seed as an example.

An heirloom seed is a seed that has been passed down and saved through generations. Unlike a hybrid, heirloom plants produce seeds that can be saved and replanted year after year while staying true to the original plant.

A hybrid seed is created by intentionally by cross-pollinating two different plant varieties to combine desirable traits like disease resistance or size.  The seeds they produce typically won’t grow as robustly as the original plant if saved and replanted.

Sometimes humans are required to admit when they tamper with nature – so note to your future gardening self – only buy seeds labeled “heirloom” if you’re hoping to be a “seed saver” someday. Don’t be gaslit by a seed that is a “one time” deal.

In summary, homesteading will shine a spotlight on narcissistic systems and gaslit pillars, such as the grocery store.  Homesteading is a tool that shamelessly exposes these things.

Narcissism has Gaslit the World

While we as individuals often experience narcissistic relationships, it’s important to recognize that narcissism has, for the most part, globally taken over our world.

Power-and-ego hungry people make decisions which impact our health. Our ability to take control of our health is contingent on our ability to see the world and shift our mindset to understand how, when and where we are being gaslit.

We must remember how to nurture ourselves. Mother Earth is ready to help.

Every. Single. Task. as a homesteader will empower you to nurture yourself and others. It can be done anywhere. Get rooted in your reality, get your hands and feet in the dirt. Join or create projects that nurture love, creativity and ultimately growth. When we gather in our communities to create, this empowerment will spread exponentially.

Start something from scratch – absolutely anything – and watch your own learning process.  See how you move through this – pay attention to what you discover about yourself. Dive into a craft, a cooking project, a windowsill herb garden, a building project, a mechanics project…. absolutely anything you can create. Your passion will build your homesteading mind.

Ask yourself, are you patient with yourself? Did you seek help when needed? Are you enjoying the process or rushing to get to the end goal?  How do you feel? How did it change you? Do you perhaps ask others to join you in your project? Check out the rest of my mindset series for support with starting from scratch.

Homesteading will help you see reality. It will help you uncover the narcissists in your life. It will empower you to get rooted in solid beliefs which foster and empower humanity. You can Homestead Your Mind and shift your mindset to discover authenticity.  Find the truth as you create anything from scratch.  Look inward and believe your truth.  

Homesteading Your Mind will allow you to become aware, rooted, self-sufficient, and very capable of creating change. Find your truth and it will find you – watch it spread in your community. You will empower others.

What does Homesteading Your Mind look like in action for you? I’d love to hear about it.